Three figures intertwined in a dreamlike setting, symbolizing open relationships.

Open Relationships: Navigating Jealousy, Communication, and Rules in Threesomes

Jordan Keane in Culture & Society December 2025 • 4 min read.

"Uncover the secrets to successful communication and rule-setting in open relationships, addressing jealousy and fostering stronger connections."

In an era where relationship structures are increasingly diverse, open relationships have emerged as a significant topic of discussion. Unlike traditional monogamy, these arrangements involve multiple consensual partnerships, requiring a high degree of communication, trust, and mutual understanding. Among the various forms of open relationships, the inclusion of a third person, often referred to as a threesome, presents unique challenges and opportunities.

The concept of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) challenges the conventional norms of monogamy, which traditionally emphasizes exclusive emotional and sexual relationships. However, CNM relationships like threesomes often require careful navigation to address feelings of jealousy, establish clear boundaries, and ensure that all participants feel valued and respected. This exploration delves into the intricate dynamics of jealousy, communication, and rules within mixed-sex threesomes, offering insights into how couples can successfully navigate these complex relationships.

This article draws insights from a study involving interviews with 28 individuals who have engaged in mixed-sex threesomes. By examining their experiences, it aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of the communication strategies, rule-setting processes, and emotional challenges that arise in such arrangements. Furthermore, it addresses how these practices can sometimes reinforce the primacy of the monogamous couple even while exploring non-traditional relationship dynamics.

Tackling Jealousy in Open Relationships: Communication is Key

Three figures intertwined in a dreamlike setting, symbolizing open relationships.

One of the primary hurdles in any non-monogamous relationship, including threesomes, is jealousy. Jealousy often stems from feelings of exclusion, inadequacy, or fear of losing one's partner. The study revealed that participants frequently experienced jealousy when they felt they were not receiving enough attention during the threesome, or when they perceived that their partner was more interested in the third person. This is consistent with existing research that highlights the importance of addressing jealousy in CNM relationships.

However, open and honest communication emerged as a critical tool for mitigating these negative emotions. Participants who openly discussed their feelings with their partner and the third person were better equipped to navigate jealousy. Such conversations often involved expressing concerns, setting expectations, and reassuring one another of their continued commitment. By fostering a safe space for sharing emotions, couples could address issues before they escalated into more significant problems.

Honest Conversations: Talking openly about feelings and expectations reduces misunderstandings.
Reassurance: Reminding each other of the primary bond strengthens security.
Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear limits helps manage anxieties and insecurities.

Lauren, one of the study participants, shared how she and her partner addressed her feelings of neglect by sitting down with the third person to ensure everyone was on the same page. This proactive approach alleviated her anxieties and created a more comfortable environment for all involved. Similarly, Sue described a situation where her husband concentrated solely on the other woman, leading to feelings of exclusion. However, she believed that had they communicated better, the experience could have been more positive. These anecdotes underscore the transformative power of communication in managing jealousy and enhancing satisfaction in open relationships.

Key Takeaways

Navigating open relationships, particularly those involving threesomes, requires a delicate balance of communication, trust, and well-defined rules. While jealousy is a common challenge, it can be effectively managed through open dialogue and reassurance. By establishing clear boundaries, prioritizing the primary relationship, and fostering a culture of honesty, couples can explore CNM arrangements in a way that strengthens their bond and enhances their overall satisfaction. Ultimately, the success of open relationships hinges on a commitment to continuous communication and a willingness to adapt to the evolving needs of all participants.

About this Article -

This article was crafted using a human-AI hybrid and collaborative approach. AI assisted our team with initial drafting, research insights, identifying key questions, and image generation. Our human editors guided topic selection, defined the angle, structured the content, ensured factual accuracy and relevance, refined the tone, and conducted thorough editing to deliver helpful, high-quality information.See our About page for more information.

This article is based on research published under:

DOI-LINK: 10.1080/13691058.2018.1453088, Alternate LINK

Title: ‘My Partner Was Just All Over Her’: Jealousy, Communication And Rules In Mixed-Sex Threesomes

Subject: Public Health, Environmental and Occupational Health

Journal: Culture, Health & Sexuality

Publisher: Informa UK Limited

Authors: Ryan Scoats, Eric Anderson

Published: 2018-04-10

Everything You Need To Know

What is consensual non-monogamy (CNM), and how does it relate to open relationships like threesomes?

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is an umbrella term for relationship styles that challenge the traditional norms of monogamy. Monogamy typically emphasizes exclusive emotional and sexual relationships, whereas CNM involves multiple consensual partnerships. Threesomes are a form of CNM. Threesomes involve the inclusion of a third person in a relationship with the consent of all parties. Successfully navigating CNM relationships, like threesomes, requires addressing feelings of jealousy, establishing clear boundaries, and ensuring all participants feel valued and respected. These dynamics set it apart from monogamous relationships, which do not typically involve outside partners.

How significant is communication in managing jealousy within open relationships and threesomes?

Communication is critical in managing jealousy within open relationships, particularly in threesomes. Jealousy often arises from feelings of exclusion, inadequacy, or the fear of losing one's partner. Open and honest communication allows partners to express their concerns, set expectations, and reassure one another of their continued commitment. Creating a safe space for sharing emotions helps address issues before they escalate. Participants in the study revealed that proactively discussing feelings of neglect or exclusion could alleviate anxieties and create a more comfortable environment for everyone involved. Without good communication jealousy may become destructive.

What strategies can couples use to establish boundaries and rules in open relationships to foster trust and security?

Couples can use several strategies to establish boundaries and rules in open relationships, fostering trust and security. Key strategies include honest conversations, reassurance, and setting clear boundaries. Honest conversations involve openly discussing feelings and expectations to reduce misunderstandings. Reassurance entails reminding each other of the primary bond to strengthen security. Setting boundaries involves establishing clear limits to manage anxieties and insecurities. By prioritizing the primary relationship and fostering a culture of honesty, couples can navigate CNM arrangements in a way that strengthens their bond and enhances overall satisfaction.

Based on the experiences of individuals in mixed-sex threesomes, what are some common emotional challenges, and how can these be addressed?

Based on interviews with individuals in mixed-sex threesomes, common emotional challenges include feelings of exclusion, inadequacy, and jealousy. These emotions often arise when participants feel they are not receiving enough attention or perceive that their partner is more interested in the third person. These challenges can be addressed through open and honest communication, where partners express their concerns and reassure one another of their commitment. Proactive discussions and establishing clear boundaries can help mitigate these negative emotions. The study also points out that sometimes these practices reinforce the importance of the main couple, even when exploring non-traditional relationship dynamics.

What are the broader implications of exploring open relationships like threesomes in terms of challenging conventional norms of monogamy?

Exploring open relationships like threesomes challenges the conventional norms of monogamy by questioning the traditional emphasis on exclusive emotional and sexual relationships. Open relationships require a high degree of communication, trust, and mutual understanding, which can lead to more profound and honest connections between partners. While challenging norms, it's important to recognize that these arrangements also necessitate careful navigation to address potential feelings of jealousy and insecurity. The success of open relationships ultimately hinges on a commitment to continuous communication and a willingness to adapt to the evolving needs of all participants, which can, in turn, foster a more inclusive and understanding approach to relationships.