A parent silhouette gazes at a star-filled sky, symbolizing the enduring bond with a child who has passed.

Navigating Parental Grief: Finding Support After Losing a Child

Rhea Morgan in Health & Wellness December 2025 • 5 min read.

"Understanding the unique challenges and pathways to healing when a young child dies."

For anyone who has lost someone they love, life changes forever the moment they learn of the death. Regardless of the circumstances, bereavement is a universal experience that involves adjusting to the death and the absence of a significant person. The process is complex and multidimensional, involving physical, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects of human experience (Sanders, 1999). The strength of the bond between the deceased and the bereaved is a key factor.

Grief is influenced by many things, including the kind of death, the connection with the person who died, and the social and cultural background of bereavement. The grief that parents feel when a young child dies has unique challenges. Just as the bond between parent and child is especially strong, so is their grief. This experience is often seen as intense and lasting, marked by deep longing, sadness, and isolation from others (Dyregrov & Dyregrov, 1999; Goodenough, Drew, Higgins & Trethewie, 2004; Kreicbergs, Lannen, Onelov, & Wolfe, 2007; Rando, 1986). The death of a child at any age can shake a person’s core beliefs (Neugarten, 1979; Malkinson, 2007).

Current ways of understanding normal and complicated grief mainly come from studies of spousal loss, which may not fully apply to grieving parents (Bonanno et al., 2002; Maciejewski, Zhang, Block & Prigerson, 2007; Shear, 2015). It is important to understand normal grief, which usually means coping with loss without needing professional help. In the early months after a death, strong feelings of sadness, missing the person who died, and worry are common, along with replaying their last days. Usually, these feelings lessen over time as the loss becomes part of who the person is (Morris & Block, 2012).

What Does Grief Look Like?

A parent silhouette gazes at a star-filled sky, symbolizing the enduring bond with a child who has passed.

Although grief has been popularly viewed as a stage-based process (Kübler-Ross, 1969), it is now recognized as a highly individual journey without fixed stages. Intense emotions or ‘pangs’ of grief, especially longing, are central (Bowlby & Parkes, 1970). The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders notes that the intense sadness in grief usually decreases over days to weeks, coming in waves, known as grief pangs (American Psychiatric Association, 2013, p. 161). Research has looked at the timing and path of normal grief (Bonnano et al., 2002; Maciejewski et al., 2007), how people deal with bereavement (Stroebe & Schut, 1999), and how they find meaning and adjust (Lichtenthal, Neimeyer, Currier, Roberts, & Jordan, 2013; Neimeyer, 2000).

Attachment plays a big role in how people experience grief. Attachment is the strong emotional bond humans feel for someone they prefer (Bowlby, 1980). Bowlby highlighted its importance in bereavement, noting that these bonds remain, even if we tend to think people should just get over a death (Bowlby, 1969).

Personal risk factors, such as a history of mental health issues.
Relationship dynamics, like a dependent relationship with the deceased.
Circumstances of the death, including whether it was traumatic or sudden.
Social support, or lack thereof.

It is crucial to tell normal bereavement apart from complicated grief reactions, and much research has focused on this in the last twenty years (Lichtenthal, Cruess, & Prigerson, 2004; Maciejewski et al., 2007; Prigerson et al., 2009). Cultural norms can blur with personal emotions, and grief responses may differ based on the type of loss or culture. Spotting those who have extreme grief reactions means understanding normal variations and how to measure them. Despite cultural differences in how grief is expressed, core grief experiences show up across cultures in research using tools like the Prolonged Grief Disorder 13-item scale, PG-13 (He et al., 2014). While expressing emotions and one's role in grieving might depend on culture, research has revealed similar reactions after different kinds of deaths and at various ages worldwide (Coelho, Silva & Barbosa, 2017; Delalibera, Coelho & Barbosa, 2011; Djelantik, Smid, Kleber, & Boelen, 2017; Field et al., 2014; Goodenough et al., 2004; Heeke, Stammel, & Knaevelsrud, 2015; Kristensen, Dyregrov, Dyregrov & Heir, 2016; Tsai et al., 2016; Xiu et al., 2016; Xu, Fu, He, Schoebi & Wang, 2015; Xu, Herrman, Bentley, Tsutsumi, & Fisher, 2014).

Seeking Help and Moving Forward

The unique nature of parental grief calls for specific attention in research and clinical practice. While more studies are needed to fully understand its nuances, existing evidence underscores the importance of recognizing and addressing the profound impact of child loss on parents. By fostering awareness, promoting supportive interventions, and tailoring services to meet their unique needs, psychologists and mental health professionals can play a pivotal role in helping bereaved parents navigate their grief journey and find hope amidst unbearable loss.

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Everything You Need To Know

What are the core components of the bereavement experience, and how do they relate to the death of a child?

Bereavement, a universal human experience, involves adjusting to the death and absence of a significant person, impacting physical, psychological, social, and spiritual dimensions. The strength of the bond between the deceased and the bereaved is a key factor. When a young child dies, this bond is especially strong, leading to intense and lasting grief marked by deep longing, sadness, and potential isolation, as highlighted by Dyregrov & Dyregrov (1999) and others. The circumstances of the death and the relationship dynamics also play a significant role in the experience of grief.

How does grief differ for parents who have lost a child compared to other forms of loss, and what are the unique challenges they face?

Parental grief, when a young child dies, is exceptionally intense and lasting due to the unique and strong bond between parent and child. This bond is often seen as the strongest of human bonds. This leads to deep longing, profound sadness, and a sense of isolation from others, as noted by multiple researchers (Dyregrov & Dyregrov, 1999; Goodenough, Drew, Higgins & Trethewie, 2004; Kreicbergs, Lannen, Onelov, & Wolfe, 2007; Rando, 1986). The experience can shake a person’s core beliefs (Neugarten, 1979; Malkinson, 2007). Current understandings of grief, often based on spousal loss, may not fully apply, creating unique challenges for grieving parents.

What is 'normal grief,' and how does it evolve over time, especially in the context of losing a child?

Normal grief involves coping with the loss without requiring professional help. In the early months after a death, experiencing strong feelings of sadness, missing the person who died, and worry are common, along with replaying their last days. According to Morris & Block (2012), these feelings usually lessen over time as the loss becomes integrated into the individual's identity. The diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders notes that the intense sadness in grief usually decreases over days to weeks, coming in waves, known as grief pangs (American Psychiatric Association, 2013, p. 161). It's crucial to distinguish normal grief from complicated grief reactions, as extensive research has focused on this distinction in the last twenty years (Lichtenthal, Cruess, & Prigerson, 2004; Maciejewski et al., 2007; Prigerson et al., 2009).

What role does attachment play in the experience of grief, and why is it relevant to understanding parental loss?

Attachment, the strong emotional bond humans feel for someone they prefer (Bowlby, 1980), plays a big role in how people experience grief. Bowlby (1969, 1980) highlighted its importance in bereavement, noting that these bonds remain even after death. The death of a child disrupts this fundamental attachment, leading to profound grief. This is particularly relevant in parental loss, where the bond is exceptionally strong. Understanding attachment dynamics can help parents navigate their grief journey and find meaning in their loss.

What are some of the key factors that can influence how someone experiences grief, and how might they apply to parents who have lost a child?

Several factors can influence the experience of grief. These include personal risk factors (such as a history of mental health issues), relationship dynamics (like a dependent relationship with the deceased), the circumstances of the death (including whether it was traumatic or sudden), and the availability of social support. In the case of parents who have lost a child, all of these factors are critically important. The suddenness or traumatic nature of the child's death, the strong bond between parent and child, any pre-existing mental health conditions in the parent, and the level of social support they receive can all significantly impact their grief journey. Research has revealed similar reactions after different kinds of deaths and at various ages worldwide (Coelho, Silva & Barbosa, 2017; Delalibera, Coelho & Barbosa, 2011; Djelantik, Smid, Kleber, & Boelen, 2017; Field et al., 2014; Goodenough et al., 2004; Heeke, Stammel, & Knaevelsrud, 2015; Kristensen, Dyregrov, Dyregrov & Heir, 2016; Tsai et al., 2016; Xiu et al., 2016; Xu, Fu, He, Schoebi & Wang, 2015; Xu, Herrman, Bentley, Tsutsumi, & Fisher, 2014).